it's all in the mind

whenever i hear that phrase i think of this:

i love that movie :)

     anyways, i wanted to talk about meditation. i grew up with parents talking to me a lot about auras, chakras, and meditation. they would be meditating on the ground and i would sit next to them with my legs tied up like pretzels, trying my hardest to think about nothing. i was never any good at it. when i asked my mom why it was so hard she just said it would get easier with age. well, i'm 29 years old and when i try to have a blank mind, that's when i have the petulant brain of a caged monkey on Ritalin. it's probably even harder now than when i was a kid.

Lies, I tell you! Lies!!!

     just before i started grad school i was taking a yoga class at csuf twice a week. the guy was very sweet and spiritual. he would try, occasionally, to lead us in a meditation at the end of class. the ones where we were just supposed to stare at a spot on the carpet and think of nothing went the worst. i always have a song in my head. and if it is the rare occasion that i don't and i notice that i don't, then like an ipod set to shuffle a random song pops into my head and it's impossible to get it out. every ridiculous thought i could have comes to me when i'm trying to clear my mind. it's like i'm mocking myself. "i can't believe i thought i could meditate. soon i'll think i can exercise regularly and eat healthy. pffft!"
     the meditations where we were visualizing something went better. but he kept using imagery that didn't work for me. He'd say, "you're in a calm lake," and i was always like, "no i'm not." i would try and it wouldn't work. eventually i would give up and just see dance in my head that would go to the song that was stuck in my head. it's still calming, but not what i was going for.
     i would do the best with chakra meditations. i think because my parents had taught me some since i was little: visualizing healing light filling my body, pretending that black smoke was leaving my lungs (which symbolized all the negative energy inside me). i even would use it at school. way back in high school i started visualizing my body being filled with radiant gold light before a test. i don't know if at actually changed anything, but it calmed me down and put me in the right state of mind to take the test.
     the first time my yoga teacher had us do a heart chakra meditation, it was incredible. focusing all that energy on my heart and visualizing it glowing with beautiful pale green light that emanated outwards just felt amazing. i was giddy for the rest of the day. it was probably one of the best days of my life and yet that is the only thing i can remember about it. everywhere i went i was smiling and felt so filled with love. i was so happy every time he had us do that meditation.
     i did it occasionally at home after that. one time i was visualizing the light growing and growing till it went beyond the planet and into the whole universe. i then had an image in my mind of every person on the planet emanating radiant loving energy till we swimming in it and our hearts were connected so that you couldn't tell where one person's light ended and another person's began. every person on the planet, joining together and glowing with loving energy that filled the universe. it was lovely and it filled me with hope.
     i know it's hard to feel love for every person. people to bad things, make mistakes, and lose sight of the good in them. but i think god has more love, understanding, and forgiveness than we could ever imagine. the best we can do is try to feel that for each other. fill our hearts with love and send it out to everyone.
     it's easy to get caught up in the stresses of life. i've been doing it a lot lately. but i want to try and do this meditation once a week from now on. i want to feel love for no reason because i know i really do have plenty of reason.
   

soft and squishy

     i have a big music library and i constantly make new playlists. so to keep things interesting i often put certain playlists into rotation while avoiding others at any given time. lately i've been listening to a rock playlist a lot. it's fun but it doesn't really help me relax at the end of a long day of summer school. and these particular teachers are very good at giving me tension headaches. so i started listening to an old playlist called "soft and squishy." it really does the trick. if you are stressed and need a little musical help (and have Spotify) i recommend checking it out.

those silly kardashians

    so i do watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. i don't always know why. obviously, tv is an escape and watching someone else's family deal with all their drama can make me feel better about myself and all the crap i deal with regularly. but sometimes the sheer stupidity does bug the crap out of me. i know lots of people think that it is all fake and scripted, and sometimes i hope for their sake that it is because they occasionally make the worst decisions and biggest mistakes. i can't comprehend it sometimes.
     there are lots of random things that they do that bug me and make me glad i'm not related to them. the fact they they often drive without wearing seat-belts really bothers me. the way they shorten words unnecessarily or say "bible" to let the other person know that they aren't lying is so annoying. and then the way they treat eachother: playing pranks on each other or "teaching someone a lesson," makes me really glad they aren't family. plus they have terrible communication skills and often can't have an affective heart-to-heart with each other without yelling and saying horrible things first. but when they make terrible, life-ruining mistakes i really wanna smack them around for awhile.
    so i just saw an episode with Kris and Bruce having lots of drama in their relationship. weeks prior Kris had run into her ex boyfriend and he really wanted to meet up with her to talk and she decided not to because she didn't want to hurt Bruce. In this episode, Bruce runs into the ex-supermodel Angie Everheart at a golf course and they decide to play a round of golf together. this turns into a regular game because Bruce is enjoying the company of a woman that doesn't constantly nag him and yell at him like his wife does. so Kris decides to follow him one time with Kim and sees him flirting a little with Angie as they play golf. She gets all upset and plans a meeting with her ex. at the end of the episode you see the beginning of her dinner with her ex where they are drinking wine and he is whispering in her ear about how much he has missed her over the years.
    how big of an idiot do you have to be to not see that dinner and drinks with an ex is much worse and could lead to way more terrible mistakes than playing golf with an attractive friend? you can't even get that intimate when playing golf but drinks and sitting side-by-side with an ex as he whispers in your ear can lead to bad things really fast. and if you go down that road of "well if he's gonna do tha,t then i'm gonna do this," before you know it you have convinced yourself that he is cheating so then you cheat on him when all he is doing is playing golf and giggling with some nice attractive person. i understand being hurt. i wouldn't want my husband playing golf everyday with an ex-supermodel. but i would just ask him to put himself in my shoes and try and limit the friendly games to once a month. i wouldn't have dinner with an ex behind his back. i can't imagine this not blowing up in her face. she is such a drama queen and man is she gonna get some drama this time.
     i do occasionally worry about younger girls watching the show and looking up to them. they don't have careers that anyone can have. they basically are paid to just show up and they have businesses thanks to the family money they were born with. only one of them is in a healthy marriage, Khloe,  and she isn't exactly the poster child of healthy communication either. i know the drama they create makes for "good television" because watching a healthy family communicate and spend time with each other would be too uneventful to put on tv. but shouldn't there be more examples on tv of healthy, happy, mature adults leading lives that you would want your kids to have so that you are glad they are looking up to them? the most important role models are a person's parents, but shouldn't tv help a little bit instead of always showing what not to do? i know this has all been said before, but man did that last episode annoy me. i had to take a break half way thru to get away from all the bitching. ugh.

and yes, i will keep watching. damn kardashians.

celebrity crushes

     i still remember my first celebrity crush. i think i was in 3rd grade or something, and i had a huge crush on Jonathon Taylor Thomas from Home Improvement. he was about my age, cute, and i thought he was really funny on that show. i think i even wrote him some dorky fan letter at some point. ah, those were the days.

     obviously, that was a long time ago and my crush is over. i've had many over the years, i doubt i can even remember them all. One of the big ones i had in my early twenties was John Mayer. i found him attractive, i was into his music at the time, and whenever i saw him on interviews he seemed to have a pretty good sense of humor. that crush has also waned over the years. partially because i just haven't been feeling his music lately. but i also don't think this hat has helped him to stay on my list of crushes :)

     not long ago i started crushing on Zachary Levi. he had a tv show i loved called Chuck. it was a really fun show where he played a dork turned spy. i loved his character, he was to sweet, dorkie, and funny. Zac started a company called The Nerd Machine (thenerdmachine.com) and they go to Comic Con  every year. i wish i could actually go cuz he meets his fans and plus Comic Con would just be awesome. but i always have fucking school keeping me busy. i still think he just has the sweetest smile.

and then this is just fantastic

   my most recent crush is on someone more often heard than seen. he is Josh Robert Thompson and he is the voice of Geoff Peterson, the robot sidekick on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. he is also known for his impressions including Morgan Freeman. he is very funny on the late late show and is entertaining to follow on twitter. i was very surprised the first time i saw what he looked like. he's so much younger and cuter than i was expecting.

     it's nice to have a crush on a celebrity. i find these crushes pop up when i don't have anyone i'm crushing on in real life. if i'm not dating anyone or flirting with anyone, or if i'm in some sort of social situation where i just don't get to see a cute guy i like regularly then i end up getting one. it gives me someone to daydream about. and i do love to daydream about guys. it's fun thinking about how we could meet, what fun things we could do, and places we could go. and it's all much more entertaining than listening to lectures for 6 to 8 hours a day.
 
so the next time you're out having a drink, like katie and i did last night :

(sangria time!!!)

say a toast to your celebrity crushes and for all the smiles they have given you over the years.

study break

do you need one too? well here you go!

these are definitely my favorite youtube videos. enjoy!!!

these days

     i hate days like this. i'm so sluggish. i can't bring myself to do anything. i miss how i felt in undergrad. i don't remember being this tired back then, or having so little desire to do the work i need to do for school. i should have more desire now that i'm in grad school learning how to do what i want to do. and i had that energy at first. i hit the ground running. but now i feel like i'm barely keeping up.
     i know that the symptoms for ADHD include this feeling of not being able to start the work and get going. but i never had it so bad before. when i'm under a lot of stress like during a test my ADHD and reading disorder can get really bad. sometimes i have to read the same sentence over 5 times. but can sustained levels of stress that have been caused by just being in grad school be the cause of these other symptoms? can it be the cause of why i lack the energy to do work i would have been happy to do 2 years ago?
     i was hoping to see my psychiatrist this summer to talk about my options as far as medicine for days like this. but of course i waited too long and now she is on break till august something, which is after summer school is over. and summer school is such a short and intense period. 3 classes in 5 weeks. doesn't seem right. before the end of every school day i have been having these really bad tension headaches. i come home and feel so shitty i can't bring myself to do all the work i need to do. next week is our third week and we already have midterms. that's just crazy to me.
     i know that i could probably decrease some of this crappy feeling by eating better and exercising regularly and blah, blah, blah. but i feel too shitty to start. i don't have the energy to cook some amazing and healthy meal. i don't have the energy to exercise and it's so damn  hot in my apartment during the day that it probably isn't wise anyways. and somedays, like today, i barely have the energy to get out of bed. ugh, i hate these days.

adorable baby videos

my friend's baby is cuter than your friend's baby!

baby gibberish:

her monster voice and adorable face:

and the first time i made her laugh:

just a silly song and some goofy faces and i got her to make the best sound :) love this baby girl and i love watching her grow up. she just gets cuter every day.

show your love

     it sometimes surprises me when people prioritize different things than i do or show their appreciation in different ways than i do. i was raised to value love and family and loyalty. you made time for your loved ones. you showed up to your kid's dance performance, you had dinner together every night (almost), you spent quality time together on the weekends doing things everyone enjoyed and it was really fun. 

     because of the way my parents raised me, when i get a break from school i try to figure out how much time i can spend with my family and friends. i don't care what we do. as long as everyone enjoys themselves it was worthwhile. with my family it often ends up being long chatty dinners, seeing movies, or going to art museums together. with my best friend michelle we talk everyday via text, we have lunch or dinner together, or we go have a pool day with her little baby girl which is a freakin blast! i have friends i'm more likely to go to dance concerts with or some other live performance. and i have friends that just wanna get some drinks and dance like silly girls. i'd gladly plan a trip with special activities with any of them. but i don't have a lot of spare money and i'm often glad to just sit back and catch up with those closest to me since they are the most interesting and sweet people i know. 

     there are plenty of things i'd like to do someday and places i'd like to go. but it isn't what drives my planning. i don't care if i go to Paris tomorrow or twenty years from now, i wanna make sure i go with someone i love. a friend. a boyfriend. a family member. it doesn't matter. love is love and fun is fun. i will have fun if i'm spending time with someone i love.

     i think there can be problems when others don't live the way i do but want to be in my life. if a guy i'm dating or someone i'm friends with wants to be close but doesn't make time for me, i will assume i'm not important to them. it's not that i have to see them every week or month. i need the effort of saying "i will be there on monday the 6th" and they show up. i have met people who claim that they can't make plans because they don't know what they will be doing from one day to the next. but if you genuinely feel that way and you really can't even plan a day ahead of time, our relationship will never progress. we will never get closer than being acquaintances.

     it seems like when i date someone it's like i give them a temporary pass to "high priority." it's not that i place them above the levels of my family and best friends, but i want to plan a time to see them again soon. i want to get to know them well in a faster time period so i can decide if i want to keep planning them into my life. if they aren't worth the effort, i want to find out sooner rather than later. and i think for the most part it is rude to cancel a date for anything less than an emergency. if you tell me you are going to be there, then saying your roommate asked you if you wanted to go to the bar down the street is obviously not a good enough reason to cancel. that clearly implies that i have zero priority. and i am not ok with that. it's just plain manners to show up when you say you will.

     now i admit, there are other ways to show your appreciation and respect for others. but if your way of showing that i am important to you is different than mine, then i need you to tell me that. i might try to accept your ways and not be hurt when you don't make plans with me. but chances are i will probably keep you at arms length. if i can't trust you to plan me into your life then i won't put in the effort to plan you into mine. i feel like this becomes more and more important with age. it was easy to see people when you had six classes with them and they lived 5 minutes away. but with age people move away, get their own family, have a busy career, and get all sorts of new priorities that take up time. planning is the only way to make sure you see someone. i don't claim to be the most organized woman in the world. but i will plan as far ahead as i have to to make sure i get my quality time with my loved ones. but that's me.

(don't you wish i had told you to do a drinking game to this where you drink whenever i say the word "plan?" you would be so drunk right now!!!)

i'm nerdy and i like it

     i consider myself a nerd. i think of myself as a smart girl and i like nerdy or dorkie things. i grew up watching star trek and star wars with my parents. ive seen most of the comic book movies and genuinely liked them. the problem i have is with the stereotype that all nerds love to read. they would rather read than watch tv and they prefer the book more than the movie adaptation. and the idea that if you like reading then you're smart and if you don't then you must be dumb, really pisses me off.

     i think i have proved that i am a smart woman (although, at the age of 29 i still feel awkward calling myself a woman, but i guess i'll get used to it). but i have graduated undergrad summa cum laude and have gotten into the country's best doctor of physical therapy program. and i, for the most part, hate reading. you probably would too if you had ADHD, a reading disorder, and were far sighted. reading was the last thing i was born to do.

      i have always hated reading. when i was little i couldn't stand sitting still for more than a few minutes to read something. i wanted to go dance and play on the swings. reading sounded so boring. and then i was a slow reader. it was so frustrating. i would complain to my parents and they would say that i would get faster with time and that i just had to be patient. and although i did get a little faster, i still wasn't nearly as fast as my mom and brother. i would take forever to read books. it was annoying to take so long to read something, made me not want to do it in the first place.

     there were a few books over the years that i didn't mind reading, like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, mostly because they were funny. it made it worth spending that time. but it's frustrating when it takes so long to finish a book that you forget important info told at the beginning. i found i preferred short stories because i could finish them before i forgot parts. i feel that sense of accomplishment within a couple days instead of months. i'd much rather read a short funny story by Woody Allen than a long, boring, depressing novel that is considered "classic" according to people who have no sense of humor.

     my senior year of high school was a stressful time. lots to do and lots of personal crap to deal with. my english teacher made us read books on our own time and keep a journal about our thoughts on the books, which he would read regularly. i took my parent's suggestion and tried reading The Hobbit. it was annoying from the start. all these long sentences describing all this scenery which i couldn't imagine and got frustrated trying to keep track of. and then the story was so stressful. it was one near-death situation after another. after a couple months of trying to get through this book i was fed up. i had written in my journal that i couldn't handle the extra stress reading a book like that added to my life. when i read a book i live with the emotions of that book for as long as it takes to finish it. and two months of that stress was all i could handle. it made me not want to read anything at all. my teacher quickly suggested i try a different book instead.

    i went to my mom and asked if she knew any really calm books that could do more help than harm during my stressful year. she suggested a book called Medicine Woman by Lynn Andrews. and it did help. it was calm and spiritual. it was funny at times and had a lovely woman's voice giving insights and perspectives on life that i greatly appreciated at that time. it was what i needed and i was glad to spend however many months it took me to finish it. i realized that i wasn't the sort of person who could read stressful or depressing books because living with those emotions for the 2-4 months it took me to finish the book would ruin my mood during that time. from then on i decided that if i was going to read a book for fun it was going to be a funny one. 

     i still didn't like reading for enjoyment much. i don't like sitting and reading and slowly getting a headache when i could be out doing something or watching a tv show. when i watch tv i can get up and do things while i watch it if i want. i can exercise during it. i can clean during it. i can even do homework during it. and if i really am tired i can just sit still and rest. i can let my eyes be entertained while my mind enjoys interesting stories and funny jokes.

     now that i'm in grad school i have no desire to read anything i don't have to. my mind is pushed everyday learning new things. i'm tired everyday when i get home from school. it's stressful having all this pressure on you're shoulders and exhausting sitting in class for 6 to 8 hours a day. when i get home the first thing i do is turn on the tv. i often don't care what i watch, as long as i get to escape for awhile. i need to think about anything else but school. tv is great for that. free or cheap entertainment at your fingertips. so this idea that smart people read and dumb people watch tv is ridiculous. even if you ignore the fact that there are plenty of very intelligent programs on tv where you can learn new things or be updated on important world news, everyone deserves an escape. and that's all tv is. a story to get your mind off your own life's troubles. even smart people have troubles they need to escape from. they might even have more than the ordinary joe.

    so i watch sitcoms and dance competition shows. i enjoy comedy and dance. that doesn't make me any less smart than someone who doesn't own a tv. and reading a book doesn't make you incredibly intelligent. liking the "classics" doesn't make your taste any better than anyone else's. it doesn't make you any more interesting than someone who enjoy tv. yes, i occasionally watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians. i also love watching live dance performances, going to art museums, and seeing funky indie movies at art houses like The Leammle. 

     i'm a proud nerd. i even bought a nerd shirt from the website www.thenerdmachine.com, which was started by Zachary Levi who was in the tv show Chuck where he played a nerd turned spy. and yes i have a crush on him. any proud nerd woman or girl with good taste in men would. and the fact that i don't like reading doesn't make me any less of a nerd or any less intelligent. 

the stupid years

     i had a fun fourth of july. i spent part of it on the beach watching drunken dudes do stupid things. it was pretty funny. they probably wouldn't have done as many of those stupid things without the alcohol. it really is an amazing thing. it shows a whole different side to a person's personality that you may have never seen before.
     i was watching an episode of House today where the patient was having frontal lobe inhibition which led to him saying whatever he thought and if he weren't in the hospital i'm sure he would have been doing whatever he felt as well. it led to his wife finding out about all these opinions of his that he had kept from her in order to have a happy marriage. it made her feel like she really didn't know him.
      alcohol has the same kind of effect on the brain. it also inhibits your frontal lobe which then disinhibits your behavior. people say stupid things and do stupid things since the smart part of their brain isn't telling them not to. this is why i call the time in your life between the ages of 18 and 24 "the stupid years" because this is the time in a person's life when they do the stupidest things and are the worst versions of themselves. this is when most people start drinking and have a tendency to go overboard with their drinking. it leads to making terrible decisions, accidentally saying things you shouldn't, and behaving in risky ways. this age period is the biggest for traumatic brain and spinal cord injuries, especially in men. they get drunk, think they are superman, and then find out they are not.
      hopefully, if you are smart enough that even when you are disinhibited you still don't do really stupid shit that will kill you, then you will learn from your stupid years. learn from your failed friendships and romantic relationships. learn from your injuries and near injuries. learn from money lost and time wasted. and learn when to stop drinking. it's critical to learn how to drink slowly and not to the point of vomiting and passing out. it's fun to drink a little bit when hanging out with friends because you say silly things more, laugh more, dance funny, and have no shame about looking silly. but hanging out with someone who always gets blind drunk is annoying for everyone else.
     i think there is a reason why few people marry their high school sweethearts. it is really hard to make it through the stupid years without ruining relationships and burning bridges. if a couple loves each other enough to make it through all the pain and end up stronger for it, then they will probably make it through anything. i've had one friend that married her high school boyfriend and i really don't worry about her marriage at all. i can't know for certain that everything will be fine, but they are off to a good start if you ask me.
     i do think for all these reasons that it is really important to get drunk with the people in your life so you can get to know them better. how someone acts when they are drunk says a lot about them. there are the stereotypes of drunks that let you know what kind of person you are dealing with. do they get angry and start fights? do they cry in the bathroom all night? or do they just sit on the side and giggle at everything said or done? i'm the type that gets really giggly and prefers to surround myself with people who are the same way. i don't want someone with pent up anger around me. i also don't want to be with a Debby Downer who is gonna suck all the fun out of the day. and if you wanna be close friends or married to someone, don't you think you should know what kind of drunk they are? to hear what they aren't telling you, to see what they don't normally do, and to just figure out if you can stand to be around them when they are drunk.
     while it is true you can never know everything about someone, you can find out a lot when they are drunk. since drinking is the legal and socially acceptable way to increase your fun times, you may as well find this stuff out sooner rather than later. unless you're one of those weirdos that never drink. then no one will ever know what a great dancer you are, how funny you are, or how great you look in a hat. and what a shame that would be.

top 10 favorite comedians

     as you might have noticed, i like comedy. and i like comedy in all it's forms: movies, tv shows, books, stand up, crazy person on the street, whatever. i've been fortunate enough to go and see a good amount of stand up comedy so far in my life. i even got to see George Carlin and Mitch Hedberg live. so i thought i would share my personal favorites here.

possibly my very favorite: Eddie Izzard

     i've seen Dressed To Kill so many times. i can easily recite a good 5 minutes at a time if i want to. i think it still surprises my parents. they'll remember a line from it and i'll just continue on and on. just the perfect kind of stand up for me. smart, silly, weird, and overall positive in tone. i haven't been as fond of every other stand up show, tv show, or movie he has done. but overall i'd love to be his friend and get to hang out with him on a regular basis.

more favorites in no particular order:

Dylan Moran:

i first learned of him when he did a show in britain called Black Books. it was on for 3 seasons, 6 shows per season, and it is now out on dvd. he played a crazy, drunken, messy, self-centered book store owner. he then did a couple movies with Simon Pegg. but what i like him best for are his stand up specials. i've only ever seen them on youtube. and you can see the full show like the one above. he kind of reminds me of his Black Books character if he were slightly more well adjusted and had a wife and kids. he likes to smoke and drink. he's smart and sarcastic. he has a very strong point of view and he's gotten better and better with each stand up special he does.

George Carlin:

     i think part of why i love george carlin is that he reminds me so much of my dad. ive been watching his stand up since i was little and my dad would always laugh till his face was bright red. carlin was very smart and talented. could go from silly and weird to sarcastic and angry. he really liked to play with language. he gave us a lot of good material in his lifetime and inspired many people. i may not get him the way my dad does, but i do enjoy his work a lot.

Lewis Black:

     he's another comedian that reminds me of my dad for much of the same reasons. i've always enjoyed his stand up and all the funny finger pointing and angry outbursts. but i think the moment he became one of my favorites is when i read his book Me Of Little Faith. it's so well written. it's so smart. and he can make all these crazy people, who would normally make someone like me angry, and make them funny and get me to laugh at the whole thing. if you are the sort of person who doesn't like organized religion, like me, you will probably love that book.

Flight Of The Conchords:

     i would marry either of these guys! agh, i love them so much! so funny and creative. creating these hilarious songs and then they turned them into a tv show. i wish i had seen them perform live. i'm always busy with school when they actually do a tour. i'm not sure i could pick a favorite song. i'm just gonna watch this video and giggle now :)

Stephen Root:

     i absolutely loved the show he was on in the 90's called News Radio. it was an amazing cast and he could still steal the scene damn near every time. he's done many movies and tv shows, being a wide range of characters over the years, and every time he is the funniest motherfucker in the room. i always look forward to what else he can do.

John Cleese:

     My favorite python who not only was in all of my favorite monty python scenes but also had a hilarious tv show called Fawlty Towers. he's done many different things since then that were also good. but my favorite tv episode of all time has to be the episode of Fawlty Towers called The Germans (the three videos above). his intensity and inflection, as well as the fact that he just completely gives himself to whatever scene he is in, is all part of what makes him a genius.

Craig Ferguson and Josh Robert Thompson from The Late Late Show:

     i normally am not a fan of the late night format. most shows have a boring round of jokes during the monologue that are told by stiff hosts and then they later ask celebrities questions they have rehearsed for days. there is not spontaneity. but The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson is not like other late night shows. he loves deconstructing the format. he is silly and smart and really quick on his feet. and since the addition of Josh Robert Thompson as Geoff Peterson his side-kick skeleton robot, the show has only gotten better. he is just as smart and quick and he can do an amazing amount of spot-on impressions. the two work amazingly well together to make me giggle every show. i've wanted to go to a taping of the show for awhile, but i can never seem to make it happen. it's hard with school and the schedule of the show's tapings. and when i actually am free to see it i can't find anyone else to go with me. but hopefully i will get to go soon, and maybe even sit in "lesbian row." i'd also love to dress up in costume and march with the horse and other girls. and i'd really love to go back stage and press Geoff's buttons ;)
       i also have to mention Craig Ferguson's biography American On Purpose. i love it! it's a really good read. i literally laughed out loud and cried within the first 2 chapters. go read it if you haven't yet. and watch the show if you don't already. we could all use a little more absurdity in our days. it's good for the soul.

i also have to mention a couple tv shows that i love. the cast and writers for the shows Gilmore Girls and New Girl are absolutely fabulous. Gilmore Girls was my favorite show back in the day with strong lead female characters who were smart and funny. they talked super fast, which i know annoys a lot of guys but i dont care, and they had great taste and were genuinely nice and thoughtful while also saying hilarious things that made me giggle like a little girl. New Girl is my new favorite show with Zoey playing an awkward but super sweet woman who i totally identify with sometimes and her awesome friends and roommates  prove to be just as smart and funny. i think Jake Johnson as Nick is one of my new favorite actors. he says his hilarious lines perfectly and i love his turtle face. i really look forward to seeing where they take this show. to all those that worked on those shows to make them as awesome as they are, i tip my imaginary hat to you. Kudos!

top 5 movies

     i used to watch a movie review tv show that used to be on where they were constantly doing different top 5 movie lists. like top 5 monsters, top 5 time travel movies, and top 5 whatever else they could think of. i also used to follow one of the hosts of the show on facebook and one time he asked his followers in a status update what their top 5 favorite movies of all time were. i was surprised that it was so easy for me. doing a top 20 would be hard. i like so many movies in different genres like comedy, action/adventure, sci fi, romantic comedies, and quirky indie movies. and then there are those movies that are so good almost everyone loves them, like V for Vendetta and Shawshank Redemption. but i had to make a list of my personal favorite movies and this is what i came up with:

5) Duck Soup

i think i actually found the whole movie on youtube here. haven't checked yet cuz i got stuff to do. but this is my favorite Marx Bros movie. so funny. when i was little my favorite marx bro was Harpo because i could understand all the nonverbal humor. as i've gotten older, i've grown more and more fond of Groucho. he's just so smart and sharp tongued. enjoy if you have time.

4) Pink Panther - A Shot In The Dark

the second movie in the peter sellers pink panther series and my favorite of the series. the first one is also very good but inspector clouseau isn't the main character in that movie which is why it's not my favorite. another comedy classic that i can't live without.

3) Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail

i love monty python. i grew up watching the tv show and seeing the movies with my parents. this is definitely my favorite as it is for many people. so much creativity. so many great quotes. one of those movies that can change your life. or at least turn you into one of those dorks that can't help but reference it constantly after you've seen it 200 times.

2) French Kiss

oh i love this movie! i've seen it so many times. i bought it on vhs back when it came out in the mid 90's and have seen it at least once a year since then. not to mention all the times i put it on when i'm having trouble falling asleep. it's not that it's boring, it's that it's just so comforting and familiar now. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. and i still laugh out loud at a bunch of moments. kevin kline is perfect and i this is definitely my favorite meg ryan role. love it.

1) Amelie

this has been my all-time favorite movie since i first saw it back in 2001. the soundtrack is the most beautiful music. the visuals in this movie are breathtaking. and i love the story line and characters. i connected with amelie instantly. i'm tempted to learn enough french so that i don't need the subtitles. so lovely.

     i also wanna give notice to some "honorable mentions." the movie Elizabeth is fantastic and one of those movies i watch whenever i see that it's playing on tv. it doesn't matter the day or time. i will watch it. another movie i have to mention is Home For The Holidays. i have also seen this movie many times as it is my favorite family holiday movie. i watch it once a year either around thanksgiving or christmas. it has an amazing cast and is very funny and touching. plus it has my dad's favorite non sequitur: "speaking of teeth..."