amy, i like you and this was almost great. but it's not flattering around the waist, it's showing every bump. i'm not saying you need to loose weight, but you can find a dress that is more flattering than this one.
chick from Mad Men, way off on this one. the shape of the dress looks like something from Dancing With The Stars and the pattern of the dress doesn't match it at all. i don't think the shape would work for this event, even in a better print. and i don't think the print would have worked for this event, even with a better shape. all kinds of wrong.
ashley, i'm not a fan of the dress but i'm more turned off by your hair. it's awkwardly tall. it should be at least half the height it is. wow.
glenn, bad idea. you may have thought the pattern on the front would have a slimming effect, but it doesn't. it's way too much and totally awkward. it's like all these crisscrossing arrows trying to draw our attention to different parts of your body. and the pattern underneath the crisscrossing, and the weird bottom of the dress. oh, it is just way too much. you look like a mermaid tangled up in dark seaweed and oil.
heidi, you are a beautiful woman with a great body, but two giants slits up the leg is a bit much. especially with the plunging neckline. i'm ten years younger than you and i wouldn't do it. one split is plenty. i don't wanna worry that i'm gonna see whether or not your kids were a c-section while i'm watching you on the red carpet. you don't have to cover up like the chick from Big Bang Theory, but lets try and pick one area of the body to show off at a time. it's just sexier that way.
julian, that's a lot of mustard. maybe if the color was on a different dress or that dress were a different color it would kinda work. but this is just gross. maybe it's just me, but there is something so unpleasant about that color. and to have that much of it in one spot would make me wanna turn away from you the second i saw you.
chick from Girls, i really only like this dress from the waistline up. but to have that lace pattern all the way down with that full of a skirt isn't very flattering. just makes you look really wide. i feel like an entirely different bottom of the dress wouldn't have been best. and please, try and smile occasionally.
chick from Game of Thrones, you look like a fortune teller at the Emmys. now i don't really know you. so maybe that is just how you dress on a regular basis. but if it's not, consider losing the black mesh poncho thing and just wear the dress underneath it. please!
Lucy, ive never really cared for you. i've never liked you in any roll you've done and in general you seem like a rather unpleasant person. so i have no problem telling you that you look ridiculous. like some sort of prostitute robot from the future. granted, a fancy prostitute robot, but still. maybe the bodice would be ok if it didn't look like the whole thing was covered in washers.
chick from Raising Hope, i really like you on that show but this doesn't work. it doesn't look like it fits you right. there are wrinkles and folds all over the place making the dress very unflattering on you. that's the problem with shiny material, it shows every imperfection, whether it's yours or the seamstress's. the general idea behind the dress is good, it just looks like it was sewn by a blind woman on crack.
phoebe, i have no idea what you are known for or why you were at the emmys, but this is just bad. first of all, please tell me your face is not frozen like that, because that expression will give me nightmares for a week. the flower on top is way too much, it's what you would see on a little girls church dress. and then the awkward shape of the bottom is too much. i don't need to see that much of your legs, the lining of the dress, or those orange shoes. too much!!!
this is the only dress i really loved and made me wish i could wear it.
sarah, i love you and you always look great. keep up the good work. and if i ever figure out where you live you are gonna have to put a lock on your closet :)
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